Breaking the Blogging Hiatus

Written by Jenn

Silence can sometimes have a momentum that can build.

I took an unintended break on this blog, which then became a purposeful silence.

So much has happened in the past few weeks which I didn’t really know how to put into words. So I remained wordless.

Our lives to date have been full of a busyness – most happy and some sad. I think I’ll have to catch up on some of these events in a few posts which I’ll archive back in the month.

So what has happened during this little blogging hiatus?

During the end of August:

-Brian and I celebrated our 11th Wedding Anniversary. It is true that love can grow deeper over time. He is my best friend and an incredible partner in dreaming and living beautiful dreams. I am grateful for him.

-Our oldest son Peter turned 9 in St. Laurent. He is a blessing to us and we delight in him. (Post to come)

-After one week of living in our pink rented house in St. Laurent, we discovered it to be unlivable, so by the end of the month we were scrambling to find another place. It was a bit stressful!

Beginning of September to the present:

-We found a beautiful, clean, safe home with excellent landlords…but in another city! We are now living in a lovely beach/fishing town half an hour away from Montpellier. Brian says that God is certainly looking out for us because this town is fantastic, and the school
is better than we hoped for.

-Our kids started school early September and so far it has been very positive and exciting for them. The school is only a ten minute bike ride away. The kids are enjoying school. Susan says she really likes the challenge of learning in a different language because it makes school more interesting. For sure, the kids will have to do a post about their experiences. 🙂

My Lola (Grandma in Filipino) Ning passed away early September, so I went home for a week to pay my last respects. I was grateful to have my family wait for me to fly home so that I could be with all of them for the funeral. Passing at the age of 91, Lola Ning lived a full life filled with love and service. When I was growing up, Lola was a big part of my life. I remember her holding me lovingly as a child, her gentleness, her warmth, and
her incredible generosity. I love her. I miss her achingly. I thank God for her.

Lola’s death was natural and expected. She had dementia for the past few years and was bed ridden for months. My extended family and I were relieved to see her suffering was over and that she was in a better place with God and with the rest of our family who passed on, but we were still sorrowful when she left us.

Brian and the kids and I saw her alive for the last time the night before we flew away to France, so I am thankful that we got a chance to say our goodbyes before we left. Lola died three weeks later in the middle of the night. My two Aunts were with her to witness her last breath. Her mass of Resurrection and Internment was celebrated on my 35th Birthday.

Although I’ve been through a lot of loss in my life, the heaviness of grief still surprises me. I run hard towards joy, but grief nips at my heels. I’ve come to realize that sometimes I just need to sit in this grief. In the silence. Let it wash over me. Then pick up my heart and smile at the rising sun, and feel the warmth of life and love which surrounds me.

I am grateful.

Below is a poem written by 10-year-old poet, Susan.

Tears

I can feel the hot sting of my tears that are welling in my eyes.

They hit the ground like the sound of trickling rain.

I am as silent as the falling snow around me.

As I watch unmoving, the soundless flakes hit the ground.

Another hot tear hits the snow.

More and more tumble from my warmth to the cold.

Thousands of tears drop and never stop.

Every tear drops silently.

Every tear has a memory I could not contain.

-Susan of Wardrobe   

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8 Responses to Breaking the Blogging Hiatus

  1. Mellie says:

    Helloooo friends. I’m just catching up on your blogs and re-reading a few I’ve already read. The above post is so well written. I especially found resonance in your last para Jenn, “Although I’ve been through a lot of loss in my life, the heaviness of grief still surprises me….” AND WOW Susan, your poem is beautiful and so heart felt.

  2. So sorry about your grandmother, Jenn. Glad you were able to make it home to be with family and say a final goodbye.

    Just catching up on what you have been up to. Nice to hear that you are now in a home and village that you like and that the children are enjoying school. How brave of them. My brother just moved to Japan for a year (his wife is Japanese) and his 6 and 9 year old went to school there. I hear second hand that there were some tearful days but in the end the kids loved it.

    You guys look great on those bikes!

    • Thank you Rachel. The kids were nervous a couple of weeks, and our youngest had a couple teary days. We were a little more nervous with him because he had never gone to school yet, but he’s doing great now. Good for your brother! I believe his kids will be changed for the better with their experience. ~J

  3. Renee says:

    Great post…I wanted to write earlier, but then came to read the poem again by Susan…FRICKIN AMAZING DUDE!!! That poem is so beautiful…so full of soul and depth! You are truly your mother’s daughter with a wonderful way with words! Love you guys SOOOO much!!!

  4. I’m sorry about your grandmother, Jenn, though you’re lucky to have had so much time with her. It sounds like she enjoyed a good life.

    Great news that the kids are having such a good time in school. Can’t wait to read their blog posts on the subject, as well as yours about the unlivable house. My daughter is making lots of fantastical guesses at what could make a house unlivable.

    Lovely poem, Susan.

    • Thanks Renee,
      My Lola did. We miss her.
      We had a busy evening after school and I forgot to remind Susan reply to your last comment on her post. Perhaps tomorrow. Please tell Scout I’m working on that unlivable piece now. 🙂
      Jenn

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